Sunday, August 4, 2013

Dinner Alone


Saturday, August 3, 2013

 

7:42 pm

 

I have dinner reservations, for one, at 8:30.  I have the shoes with me.  A dress.  My hair looks fabulous.  Makeup is perfect including mascara that would draw anyone to my eyes.

 

And I’m thinking of canceling. 

 

I’m still sitting here in my casual wear.  I’ve texted to ask for another day at the cabin – to stay until Monday.  First I was leaving Saturday or Sunday.  Anyone knew the actual day I’d leave.  Now, I’m asking for another day.  No response.

 

I almost turned around on the way up here and went back home.  Oh, dear God, I’m so glad I didn’t.   I would have surely died.  I had no idea that this was the drug I’ve needed all along.   Cruise?  Definitely a good thing.  Hotel room alone?  My previous definition of heaven.  But it has changed to this.

 

Last night I started listening to my music.  It’s been years since I’ve heard my own music inside a house.  With the other noise, any additional sound is too much.  I continued it today.  It’s like my need for silence was satiated to a point that I could begin, after so long, to hear my words. 

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